An Interview with Kentaro Saito



AN INTERVIEW WITH KENTARO SAITO

ER: You play the bass, the guitar, and as I saw in a live video the drums, what else can you wail on?



KS: I am doing a solo kazoo recital in a week, playing soul music.
I used to be able to mess confortably with vibraphones and recorders in my preschool days.
I've stop seing vibraphones after I pueked on vibrapone at the age of11.
never liked recorder because of its smell.

ER: Your like a Japanese Patrick Swayze, how did you learn to boogie like that?



KS: -don't know who is Mr. Swayze...
I learned to boogie at bars in tokyo which they never card.
From age 14 to 18, I don't remenber a single parson try to stop me drinking.
I don't remenber a single parson try talking to me when I was dancing.
I parsonally think that older people talk too much.

ER: I've seen time and time again that you prefer briefs over boxers, I think you'd look great in a thong, have you ever considered?



KS: I really don't like wearing briefs.
I wear boxers when I am not entertaining.
Briefs make my penis hurt, leads it to temporary impotents.
of which, tight pants does same effect.
only reason I wear briefs is that one of super hero I admire, The Yoroshiku Mask, wears only briefs.
he has this killing move called "brief dance," which he collect all the brief power from the earth.
The Yoroshiku Mask only wears dad's briefs.
that's his rule.
what's thong, by the way?

ER: Tell me has DC finally establised a bass player or are you guys still desperately looking for the right candidate to fill the honorable position?

KS: Byrne Klay's his name.


ER: How long ago did you leave Japan to move to the Big Apple ?

KS: I found myself reading Village Voice first time in 1996.



ER: I heard that DC is like White Snack in Japan......

KS: I think that's a lie.



ER: What's your all time favorite cartoon?



KS: ultra maman.
it's a story very simillar to ultara man whatever.
maman is a middle aged single madam, who is looking for a child to adapt.
transform herself to ultra maman when bad monsters doing bad stuff to her adaption candidate, age under 11 or 12, I am not sure of her rule...
she force the monsters to sleep with her into her futon.
bad boys are usually convinced that they are sorry for their bad behavier after the futon experience. she's a quite powerfull mom.
then she plead to the child, she've just saved, to be her kid.
she usually get rejected.
pretty sad...

ER: Do you possess a gruesome, dark compulsion that you might like to share?


KS: I am impotents after a brief.
I got F at English and philosophey when I was in college.
I thought socurates (how do I spell his name?) sucked.

ER: Where do you think DC is going to be in 5 years?

KS: Carnegie Hall.


ER: What's your favorite eating joint in NYC?

KS: Lunchnet around my corner.
it's cheap and looks pretty american, considering that the lady who runs it is from elsewhere.

ER: So what is the difference between Be More Naked and Dynamite Club?



KS: I think dynamite club has a better name.
I've told mike that "extra naked" was good name, he either misheard me or mis understood me.
I was pretty intimitated when he was excited about the name.
so, I never said anything.
they are totally defferent groups.
I think people know the deffernce when they are extreamly fortunate to witness a successfull gig by both groups.
be more naked's only played a couple of gigs which mike, the leader of be more naked, think was good.
-both in maine, one at a radio station.
people in new york who likes be more naked, if there's any, and thanks to six, of you I know, andrew, ayaki, ellen, maymi, matt and makiko, should know that I wasn't playing music the way it shoulda been most of the time.
my middle name is sorry, by the way.


ER: What is the last movie you saw in the theatre?


KS: matrix 2 on imax.
the screen was huge.
preview of some imax made movie was pretty cool.
I bilieve that was by spielburg.

ER: Do you own and electric shaver?

KS: not now.
but, I've lost three of them that I can remenber.
they always had this rotten water smell.
I was way too naive to ask anyone how to avoid it.
I do not miss 'em.

ER: How many times have you been arrested?

KS: never.
I tried not to do anything bad after being kicked out from highschool at the age of 16.
I once stoped at a police station with a stolen bike and ask for air pump, though.

ER: Have you ever done something you regret for money?

KS: buying a CD by Jim Hall.
he is suppose to be the most sophisticated jazz guitarist alive.
no one in the jazz school I went talked shit about him.I was never capable to understand why.

ER: Who is the coolest person in NYC right now?

KS: ninja.

ER: What is your favorite thing to do on your spare time?

KS: masterbate.


ER: Favorite alcoholic beverage?

KS: woo woo drink.
no one but bartending school kids know it exsists.

ER: What's scarier Korean ghosts or Japanese ghosts?



KS: I've never seen a ghost.
I didnt know that korean ghosts exsisted.
only information I can give you is that a Japanese ghost story I've heard was scary enough, that I couldn't see a mirror at midnight for a while.